[0:00] Ephesians 5, Ephesians 5, usually we turn to either a psalm or a passage of praise.
[0:30] Or somewhere else when we come to worship, particularly on a Sunday evening, to help us to center our hearts, our minds upon him, our Savior. And perhaps you might think this is a peculiar place to turn.
[0:42] It's actually verses 21 to 33. But it does exalt the Lord Jesus as we want it to.
[0:53] But also it helps us because later on as we go into 1 Peter, continuing 1 Peter, we are dealing with probably one of the most controversial, one of the most challenging parts of Scripture.
[1:06] And this passage as well is one of those that also speaks into that situation and that need. So I'm going to read from verse 21 to 33 before we come to worship and pull out just a few thoughts there.
[1:21] I hope for us to center our thoughts on Christ particularly and what he means for us. What it means for us to be a church, to worship him. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
[1:34] Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body of which he is the Savior.
[1:45] Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
[1:57] To make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word. To present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any blemish, but holy and blameless.
[2:10] In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body.
[2:21] They feed and care for their body just as Christ does the church. For we are members of his body. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife.
[2:33] The two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery. But I'm talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself.
[2:45] And the wife must respect her husband. Marriage is a picture, a reflection of the relationship between Christ and his church. That's what makes it so very, very special.
[2:58] And here we are told so much of what Christ has done for us. His church, his bride, in love. In love he gave himself.
[3:08] That is ultimately, surely, the one best description for love. It's the giving of self. It's the giving up of oneself for the sake of another.
[3:21] And when we think of what that cost our Lord Jesus Christ. That he took upon himself humanity, weakness, frailty, mortality, death, pain and suffering.
[3:33] How can we ever think that loving is a weak thing? Prayer together. Prayer together. As we thought of Christ, our Saviour and Lord. Let's come in his name.
[3:45] The only way. The truth and the life to God. Our gracious and loving Father in heaven. As we come to you again this evening.
[3:57] We come with our desire. Our hearts. Our longing. That we might worship and adore you. The living God. The true God. That we might grasp something more of the wonder and mystery of yourself.
[4:11] And particularly of your son, the Lord Jesus Christ. We thank you again for the truths of which we've read. And the truths of which we've sung. That truly this Jesus is God himself.
[4:24] Made manifest amongst us. That he is not any lesser God. Or demigod. Or angel. Or simply a good man.
[4:34] Or righteous man. Or prophet. But we acknowledge and declare. Even now that Jesus Christ is Lord. To the glory of God the Father. That he is one with Yahweh.
[4:47] That he is truly. One with God the Father and the Spirit. That mystery which we call the Trinity. That mystery Lord. Which we cannot begin to truly understand and grasp with our tiny little minds.
[5:01] What we know is true. Because your word reveals it to us. And what we do not understand we worship. We thank you Lord that we do not know the full depths of you our God.
[5:15] But we thank you that you've revealed enough to us. That we might be in awe of you. And wonder of you. And fear of you. We thank you Lord that you have not shown us all your glory and majesty.
[5:26] For Lord we could not stand it in these finite bodies. We could not cope with it. But Lord if we were to see you. As you truly are. But we thank you that one day. We shall see you.
[5:37] One day our eyes will be sinless. And we shall see you in your perfection. And we shall Lord fall at your feet with all the hosts of heaven. We shall worship and adore you.
[5:48] In that place we call glory. Heaven. Paradise. That place oh Lord where you are. Where you dwell. And where oh Lord we shall dwell with you. And we know Lord that we shall be there one day.
[6:01] Not because we are good people and deserving of it. Not because we have somehow outweighed our sins with our righteous deeds. But because of Jesus.
[6:12] Because of what he is. And what he has done for us. Because of his life and death and resurrection. Because of his intercession for us at the Father's right hand. Because he rules and reigns.
[6:23] Enthroned in glory. Because of him and him alone. Oh Lord we have confidence. That though we are sinners our sins are forgiven. And though we are unrighteous yet he has clothed us with his righteousness.
[6:35] And though we are feeble and frail and weak yet he is strong to save. And so Lord we come again this evening. Longing that you oh Lord would lift our hearts. Lift our eyes. Lift our very lives themselves.
[6:48] Bless us heavenward. That we may be caught up. That we may be given again just a sense of the privilege. And the joy and the blessing of what it is to be a child of yours.
[7:00] Forgive us when we sort of shuffle our way through life. Day by day. Week by week. Murmuring and complaining. And just about getting through each day. Oh Lord forgive us that we do not have our eyes heavenward.
[7:14] Forgive us that we do not look to Christ our victor and conqueror. That we do not take your word seriously. That declares that we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Help us oh Lord to depend upon the power of your spirit.
[7:28] The grace of your goodness. And to look to and to devour the word of your truth. Oh Lord we pray that we may be truly those people who are salt and light in this world.
[7:40] In this community. In this society in which you've placed us. That we may be those ambassadors for Christ. Those heralds of the gospel. That we may be oh Lord in your mercy and grace.
[7:51] Ministers of your goodness to the people of our society. We thank you oh Lord that you have a purpose for us. And a work for us to do.
[8:02] And oh Lord for that reason you've given us your word. To equip us. Shape us. Fill us. And prepare us. And we pray oh Lord that you would make us ready to receive your word. That you would speak clearly to us through it.
[8:15] That we may be indeed the people of God. For this day and generation. Hear us then Lord. Forgive us our sins. Give us your spirit. Grant us grace.
[8:26] For we ask all these things. In the name of your dear son. And our saviour. The one and only Jesus Christ. Amen. Amen. Journeying through 1 Peter.
[8:36] And we've arrived at chapter 3. So if you'd like to turn in your Bibles to 1 Peter. We're actually going to read from verse 18. Just to give us the setting again.
[8:47] And then into chapter 3. And this evening. God willing looking at verses 1 to 7. Again as I said. When we looked at Ephesians 5.
[8:58] Or read Ephesians 5. These are some of the most argued over. Misunderstood. Misapplied. Words of scripture. This matter of husbands and wives.
[9:11] And how very important in our generation. That we hear them. So we're going to read from 1 Peter. Chapter 2 verse 18. I'm reading through to chapter 3 verse 7.
[9:26] Slaves. In reverent fear of God. Submit yourselves to your masters. Not only to those who are good. And considerate. But also to those who are harsh. For it is commendable.
[9:37] If someone bears up under the pain of unjust suffering. Because they are conscious of God. But how is it to your credit. If you receive a beating for doing wrong. And endure it. If you suffer for doing good.
[9:49] And you endure it. This is commendable. This is commendable before God. To this you were called. Because Christ suffered for you. Leaving you an example. That you should follow in his steps. He committed no sin.
[10:02] And no deceit was found in his mouth. When they hurled their insults at him. He did not retaliate. When he suffered. He made no threats. Instead. He entrusted himself.
[10:12] To him who judges justly. Himself. For our sins. And his body on the cross. So that we might die to sins. And live for righteousness. By his wounds. You have been healed.
[10:24] For you were like sheep going astray. But now you have returned. To the shepherd and overseer. Of your souls. Wives. In the same way. Submit yourselves to your husbands.
[10:35] So that if any of them. Do not believe the word. They may be won over. Without words. By the behavior of their wives. When they see the purity. And reverence. Of your lives.
[10:46] Your beauty. Should not come. From outward adornment. Such as elaborate hairstyles. And the wearing of gold jewelry. Or fine clothes. Rather. It should be that of your inner self.
[10:57] The unfading beauty. Of a gentle and quiet spirit. Which is of great worth. In God's sight. For this is the way. The holy women. Of the past. Who put their hope in God.
[11:08] Used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves. To their own husbands. Like Sarah. Who obeyed Abraham. And called him a lord. You are her daughters.
[11:18] If you do what is right. And do not give way to fear. Husbands. In the same way. Be considerate. As you live with your wives. And treat them with respect. As the weaker partner.
[11:30] And as heirs with you. Of the gracious gift of life. So that nothing will hinder. Your prayers. We need much help. Don't we. From the Lord. To understand his word.
[11:41] All right. If you have a Bible to hand. Please turn back then. To. One Peter. And chapter three.
[11:51] In particular. Apologies. For the sniffles. And the grunts. And the groans.
[12:02] And the funny noises. I should do my best. To restrict them. To a minimum. There certainly.
[12:13] Seems to be one area. In. The Christian church. Above all others. That has suffered. The most prolonged. And serious attack. For the past. Four decades.
[12:24] Or more. It is that. Aspect. Of. Life. Which is the. Foundation. For every. Community. Every society.
[12:35] Every country. It is that. Most important. Of matters. Marriage. Certainly. Since the mid. 1960s. And to a lesser degree.
[12:45] Before that. The truth. About God's will. Regarding marriage. Has been so. Assaulted. That. It bears no. Resemblance. To the original. As given by God.
[12:56] In Genesis. In Psalm. Chapter 2. And verse 3. We have a description. Of the attitude. Of the world. Against the Lord. And against his laws. And it seems.
[13:06] That this is particularly. The case. In their view. Of marriage. Where the psalmist. Echoes. The voice. Of the world. Let us break the chains. Throw off. The shackles.
[13:18] That's how marriage. Is often. Portrayed. From that explosion. In the 60s. Of premarital. And extramarital. Sex. To the.
[13:30] Opening up. Of a no blame. Divorce. To the promotion. Not just acceptance. Of same sex. Relationship. We have accomplished. In the space. Of a generation.
[13:41] The overturning. Of that. Universal truth. That marriage. Is between. One man. And one woman. And if we doubt.
[13:52] The seriousness. Of this loss. Of a biblical. View of marriage. To any society. Then. Surely. A simple. Consideration. Of the connection. Between our present day.
[14:03] Troubles. And the destruction. Of marriage. Should tell us. All we need to know. The UK prison population. Has more than doubled. In the past 20 years.
[14:15] Why is that? Binge drinking. And alcoholism. Means that. Cirrhosis of the liver. Is the third biggest cause. Of premature death. In the UK. Why is that?
[14:27] Violent crime. Is higher than ever before. Rising by 27%. Why is that? Unplanned. And often. Unwanted. Unwanted pregnancies. Mean that over 200,000.
[14:39] Abortions. Take place. In the UK. Every year. Why is that? Sexually transmitted infections. And diseases.
[14:50] Reached a half million cases. In 2014. Why is that? These are statistics. And figures. We know only so well. But is there a reason. Why these things.
[15:00] Have happened. In my generation. And in yours. Is it something. To do with the fact. That boys. Are growing up fatherless. With no male role model. That they turn to crime.
[15:11] And to gangs. Teenagers. Who have to choose. Which parent. To live with. After a divorce. Have no interest. In committing themselves. To marriage. Children who find themselves.
[15:23] Fought over. In a court of law. For ownership. They are undervalued. And of no worth. Surely these experiences. And much worse beside.
[15:34] Must spare. The largest part. Of the self-destructive path. That many people. Have been driven to. In our present generation. In our present. In our present. And so. All of us.
[15:45] Here this evening. Whether we are. Married. Whether we are. Single. Whether we are. Widowed. Whether we are. Divorced. Whether we are. In any of those. Spheres of life.
[15:56] These words. Are vitally relevant. To us. Vitally relevant. To us. That we should seek. To live by them. Where we can. That we should seek. To pray for those. Who are committed.
[16:07] To them. That we should. Uphold. And support. And encourage. That biblical view. Of marriage. And hold it. As very dear. And special. That we should take.
[16:18] These things. Very seriously. And recognize. That in our day. And generation. More than ever before. We must. Hear. God's word. And we must. Live by it. And again.
[16:30] Of course. When we read through. These verses. From chapter 3. Verses 1 to 7. We see. How very clearly. As believers. We are in complete. Opposition. To the world.
[16:41] In which we live. The popular. Conception. Of the world. Of marriage. Of women. Of men. Runs counter. To everything. That God's word says. That is why.
[16:52] Peter has again. And again. Reminded us. That we are strangers. And exiles. In the world. As Christians. We are different. We are black. To white. We are up.
[17:04] To down. We are in. To out. We are as opposed. As diametrically. As we can be. To the world. In which we live. Therefore. It should be no surprise. To us. That if we are strangers.
[17:15] In the world. Then the teaching. Of God's word. That we hold to. And seek to live out. Is strange. And odd. And weird. In the ears. Of those outside. The church. The trouble is.
[17:26] Of course. Sadly. That even today. In our churches. Evangelical. Bible believing churches. Even amongst ourselves. When we read. Verses 1 to 7. Of chapter 3.
[17:37] It sounds strange. To us. Because we found. That our ears. Have been molded. By the deafening voice. Of popular culture.
[17:50] So should we. As Christians. Take Ephesians 5. 1 Peter 3. Colossians 3. Should we take. These things. As old fashioned. Should we think. Of them simply. As outdated.
[18:01] Irrelevant. Culturally bound. To the first century. And of no import. To the 21st century. No we cannot. We definitely. Must not. And because.
[18:12] We have. We are in the fix. That we are. And continuing. To sink deeper. We need to hear them. We need to obey them. More than at any other time.
[18:22] Possibly. In the history. Of the church. In our society. In our society. In our nation. In our nation. Now. Although Peter here. Along with Paul.
[18:33] When he writes about these things. Addresses the husband. And the wife. In separate sections. I want to take this. As a whole. Not because I want to. Unbind the word of God.
[18:44] In that sense. But I want us to recognize. That what is being said. The husbands and wives. Is being said to both. That a marriage. Is one unit. It is made up.
[18:54] Of one. Unity. That's what we read. There in Ephesians. Reflecting Genesis 2. Verse 24. That's why a man.
[19:04] Leaves his father and mother. And is united to his wife. They become one. Flesh. But also because. We live in today. An individualistic mentality.
[19:15] We live in a world. Which tells us. It's you. Down to you. I'm looking at you. I'm not talking to them. Or us. There is that sense. Of individuality. Which is. Far from. The biblical position.
[19:26] Concerning marriage. Look out for yourself. Look out for number one. These things have no part. In biblical. Christian. Marriage. And as I've said already.
[19:38] These words of Peter. Obviously oppose. The very popular wisdom. Of our present world. And two things. I want to pick out. And from those two. Misconceptions.
[19:48] And those two. Deceptions. Concerning. Marriage. I want us to pull out. From this passage. What God's view of. Marriage is. What it is that we are seeking.
[20:00] To encourage in one another. Those who are married. What we are aiming for. If we are single. And looking by God's grace. One day to be married. What it is that we can pray for.
[20:11] For those. Who need. Much help. In their marriages. Whether we are married. As I say. Or not ourselves. The first. Deception.
[20:21] And the first. Misconception. Which has become. Increasingly so. And is. Countered. As it were. By God's word. Here and elsewhere. Is this. That men and women. Are the same.
[20:32] In every way. In fact. So much so. Is that. Misnomer. Put forward. That men and women. Are the same. In every way. It doesn't matter. Which gender you are.
[20:42] You can be. Whatever gender. You want to be. Because really. Ultimately. They're the same. Now that perception. Of sameness. Has been.
[20:53] What has fueled. The feminist movement. To such an extent. That in our generation. Certainly in the UK. It seems to me. That men are generally. Considered as being. Beneath. Women.
[21:05] But men are not. Beneath women. Nor are women. Beneath men. But neither are they. The same. We are wonderfully. Compatible. And therefore. We are wonderfully.
[21:16] Different. Therefore. We would say. With the French. One thing we agree with. Vive la difference. Now the overreaction. Of feminism. And the feminist movement.
[21:27] Can be understood. In the light of. Wicked. And shameful. Ways. In which women. Have been treated. And mistreated. And maltreated. By men. For thousands of years.
[21:37] There is no doubt. About that. And that's why. I say. That these words. Of scripture. Have been twisted. Misused. To put women down. To make acceptable.
[21:50] And condone. All sorts of evils. And none of those things. Are right. It doesn't mean. That the opposite attitude. Is also correct.
[22:00] Or that behavior. Is beneficial. See. It is only. When we come into Christ. That we actually. Find. That we are.
[22:12] The same. In the blessings. We receive. The acceptance. That we have. The forgiveness. That we are given. And the eternal reward. That awaits us. That's why.
[22:23] Peter writes. To the husbands here. And tells them. That they are heirs. With their wives. Of the gracious gift. Of life. Men do not inherit.
[22:33] More of God's blessing. Or deserve more of God's blessing. Or have a special place. In the economy of God. Any more than women do. They are totally. Completely. Wonderfully.
[22:44] Equal. In the sight of God. The gracious gift of life. That we have in Christ. Belongs to every believer. Irrespective of gender.
[22:56] Of age. Of education. Or of any other distinction. The Bible. Far from discriminating. Radically. Undermines. All human prejudice. And so we read.
[23:06] In Galatians 3. Verse 26. And 28. You are all. Children of God. Through faith. In Christ Jesus. There is neither Jew. Nor Greek. Slave. Nor free.
[23:17] Nor is there male. And female. For you are all one. In Christ Jesus. That is something. That the Bible said. In a day. When that was not. Accepted. Or understood.
[23:28] Far from Paul. Being. A misogynist. Or chauvinist. He was one. Who took a stand. For. The equality of women.
[23:39] In the sight of God. When it was never. Ever. Seen. In any other. Religion. Or society. The Bible declares. All. In Christ. Are children of God.
[23:49] And he has. All of them. As his favorites. But that raises. Some questions. Doesn't it? If I'm saying that. If I'm. Putting forward. That case. Then.
[24:01] It does raise. These questions. Of what Paul. Has to say. To wives. About submitting. To their husbands. It also has to raise. Questions. About how. Peter.
[24:11] Speaks. Of. Women. Or wives. Particularly. As those. Who are the weaker. Partner. Because as I said. At the start. Of this point. In particular. Men and women.
[24:22] Are. Not the same. The world says. That we are the same. But God says. We are not the same. In certain ways. In important ways. That matter.
[24:32] To how we live. And relate to one another. Not in relation to him. And the reason. For these things. Is because we live. In a fallen. World. We live in a world.
[24:42] Which is sin polluted. And we are damaged people. And the effect of sin. Has affected. Every relationship. Including. Marriage.
[24:52] So we find. When we read. What happened. When Adam and Eve. Sinned against God. That there was a curse. Placed upon them. Part of that curse.
[25:03] Because of sin. Affected the woman's. Relationship to her husband. And to herself. Physically. Here's Genesis. Chapter 3. Verse 16. To the woman.
[25:13] God said. I will make your pains. In childbearing. Very severe. With painful labor. You will give birth. To your children. Your desire. Will be for your husband. And he will rule.
[25:24] Over you. When God created. Adam and Eve. In the beginning. There was nothing. Of that order. Of ruling. Nothing of that order. Of weakness. But when sin came in.
[25:35] It contaminated. Destroyed. Broke. And affected. Every part. And every relationship. So it has done. With every single person.
[25:45] Since then. Because we are all. The offspring. Of Adam and Eve. And so the truth is. That all women. Do suffer in childbirth. Some even to the loose. Loss of their lives.
[25:57] Thankfully. Not so common. As once was. The blessing. That women have. The privilege. That they have. The honor. That they have. Of bearing children. Weakens them physically.
[26:10] And part of that. Of course. Is most obvious. In a monthly period. That women suffer. We live in a broken world. We are sin damaged people.
[26:21] To enable men and women. To operate. Within this. Sin corrupted world. With sin corrupted. Bodies and hearts. God has placed. An order of things.
[26:32] So that the world. Broken though it is. May operate. As best as possible. In his grace. And for that reason. There is an order. In marriage.
[26:43] Here is 1 Corinthians 11. Verse 3. Talking about Christ. As well. And this is important. Now I want you to realize. That the head of every man. Is Christ. We all accept that.
[26:55] The head of the woman. Is man. And the head of Christ. Is God. Do you see that Christ. Himself. Was subject. To God. Though equal with him.
[27:05] For the purpose. Of our salvation. So it is not. Certainly the Bible. Does not teach. That Christ. Is less. Than God. Or unequal.
[27:17] In importance. Or deity. Than God. The father. But for the purposes. Of saving. A sinful world. He submitted himself. To the father. This is why.
[27:29] When we've been reading. Through and studying. 1 Peter chapter 2. Particularly. In why I read. From verses 18. That when Peter. Is giving instruction. Concerning the attitude. Of servants.
[27:40] To their masters. He points. To Christ. And why it is. That we have. Whereas we start. Chapter 3. Wives in the same way.
[27:51] Submit yourselves. We are to bear. The image of Christ. And the likeness of Christ. And recognize. That being. Equal. Before the sight of God. Does not mean.
[28:02] That we are the same. In every way. That we have the same. Responsibilities. We have the same. Weaknesses. The same strengths. We have not. We are meant to be compatible. Not to be.
[28:13] Exactly the same. So in that. Order that God has placed. For this world. In which we live. There is an order. And in that order.
[28:23] God has commanded. Women to submit. Not to every other man. But only to their husband. And in the same way. Men are instructed.
[28:34] To respectfully. Rule over. Not all women. But only. Over their wife. Paul.
[28:45] You notice. Has placed. This. Teaching. On the order. And the submission. Within a marriage. Last of all. In this section. On authority. He first of all.
[28:55] Spoke about. And we saw there. Verses 13. And following. Civil authority. And civil order. How is this. How is life. As it were. In the world. To be ordered. And run well.
[29:05] Well you have to have. Authority. And you have to have. People. That have responsibility. For those things. How are you able to. To live. In the Christian life. In the world.
[29:16] In the workplace. Well you have to have. Again a boss. And an employee. You have to work out. How you do those things. How is this to work out. In marriage. In the same way. There is an order. That God has put in place.
[29:28] That is not about. Who is better than the other. One upmanship. Or any of those sort of things. But to be understood. As God's way.
[29:39] Of us. Living. Best of all. In this world. And so we find. When Paul writes the Ephesians. He says a similar thing. We read it there. He writes the Colossians as well.
[29:49] Why has God done that? Why has God placed this order. That we see civilly. We see in the workplace. We see in the Christian marriage. Well because God wants. Both parts of the marriage.
[30:01] Both partners. To be blessed. He wants them to live happily. Together. In marriage. He wants them to enjoy. Marriage. And the best way for them to do that.
[30:13] Is to have. An order. Which is God given. That we might deal with the sin. That we face. And so we find. Verse six.
[30:24] At the end of. Peter's teaching. Concerning the. The wife. He says. You are her daughters. If you do what is right. God's will. And do not give way to fear. God wants.
[30:34] Women not to be afraid. Of their husbands. God wants women. Not to be afraid. In this life. They want. That he wants them to know. That they are under the loving care. And provision.
[30:45] Of a husband. Who will take responsibility. For them. And provide for them. And for their children. And for a husband. He is to act. He is to act. In that rightful way.
[30:56] In taking the lead. As the head of the family. Not in a way. Which is domineering. But is considerate. Why? So that he may be. Able. Not only to provide.
[31:07] For his family. But he may also be. A man of prayer. Trusting God. To provide. And meet his needs. So that nothing. Will hinder your prayers. You see. God has put these things. For the good of both.
[31:19] For the peace of both. For the blessing of both. And as I've said already. At the very start. Where we have. As a society. Thrown over God's word. Thrown over his order.
[31:30] Thrown over his commands. And we have got. What we've got. Terrible. Terrible. Suffering. Terrible. Unhappiness. Terrible.
[31:41] Marriages. The first lie then. That the Bible. Overrules. Is that we are just the same. No we're not the same. We're equal in the sight of God.
[31:53] Wonderfully. Wonderfully. Wonderfully equal. In our acceptance. In our inheritance. In our blessings. But dear friends. We are meant to be. Different. Because. We were made that way.
[32:05] And God has set us in order. That we might serve. And live together. In a way which is good. For everyone. Now the second deception. Again. That our world.
[32:15] Holds as being. Vital. The second popular. Misconception. Misconcernation. Which affects. The way men and women. Relate to one another. Particularly in marriage.
[32:25] But in other ways. As well as this. The lie. That the most important thing. Is your outward appearance. Most important thing. Is your outward appearance.
[32:36] What you look like. Is the key. Now clearly. It's not a new concept. It's not something. That's just been invented. Since the 1960s. Because Peter. Peter has to speak about it here.
[32:48] About elaborate hairstyles. And wearing of gold jewelry. And fine clothes. From the first century. And beyond. We can assume. It's always been there. This sense of.
[32:59] Your self worth. Is based upon. How you appear. It's always been. A popular. Misconception.
[33:11] Going through my head. As I was thinking of this. And I didn't know. Where it came from. It's probably from my grandparents. Used to sing. All sorts of strange songs to me. Like run rabbit. Run rabbit run. And.
[33:22] T for two. And two for tea. Me for you. And you for me. Yeah. Those of you. Was the song. Keep young and beautiful. It was released in 19. Or recorded in 1933.
[33:33] It's probably why. My grandparents. Used to sing it. Here's the lyrics. Of keep young and beautiful. It's your duty. To be beautiful. Keep young and beautiful. If you want to be loved. That's.
[33:44] That's not rock and roll. That's. 1933. But Peter knocks the idea. On the head here. Doesn't he? He says.
[33:55] Beauty should not come. From outward adornment. But that's exactly. What we find happening. In our present society. It's all about. Appearance. It's all about.
[34:05] How you look. It's all about. The clothes you wear. It's all about. Keeping beautiful. If you want to keep. Your husband. Ladies. You've got to. Have this cream. On your faces. To stop the wrinkles. From appearing. If you men.
[34:16] Want to keep your wives. From going off. With a younger. Handsome man. Then you need to. Work out. And be a bit muscly. Or whatever it may be. This is. Or wear a toupee. If you happen to be.
[34:26] Going thin on top. Or something like that. I don't know. But that's the thing. Isn't it? The only way. You're going to keep. A happy marriage. Is that. You make sure. That you still. Look good. But Peter says.
[34:39] Quite the opposite. He says. Instead of spending. Hours on your hair. Your nails. Your makeup men. Your clothes. We have to work hard.
[34:50] On improving. The inner beauty. And that's much. More difficult. Two things. Or two pairs. Of. Attractive.
[35:01] Qualities. That we should work at. Dear friends. Whether we are women. Or men. But it's particularly pointed at women. But I would say. That it applies to us as men as well. Verse two.
[35:12] When they see the purity. And reverence. Of your lives. Purity and reverence. Those words point back. To really. What I would say. Is the very theme. Of this whole letter.
[35:23] And that's holiness. Back in chapter one. In verse 14. Living as children of God. We are called to be holy. Because he who called us.
[35:34] Is holy. It's Christ likeness again. Isn't it? That's what we're to be working at. Working at Christ likeness. Christ likeness. Christ likeness.
[35:44] In how we approach issues. In the home. Our values. Our goals. Our aims. In the marriage. What are they about?
[35:54] Well they should be. Pure. And reverential. They should be. Bearing the likeness. Of Christ. And surely. Purity and reverence. Is the very opposite. Of how women are portrayed. In our society.
[36:06] Anything but pure. Anything but reverential. So there's something. Very very different here. Isn't there? I don't believe. For one moment.
[36:16] And you may want to. Correct me on this. I don't believe. That Peter is saying. You should never ever. Wash your hair. I don't believe. He's saying. You should never wear a ring. Or earrings.
[36:27] I don't believe. He's saying. You should go around. With rags on your feet. And on your body. That's not what he's saying. Some have taken this. To the extreme. And said no. All women should be. Should almost wear burqas.
[36:37] As a Muslim sort of way. No. That's not what he's saying. He's saying. Don't concentrate on those things. Don't make them. The be all. And the end all. Don't make them. The reason why you. You hope your husband. Will still love you.
[36:49] And be faithful to you. No. Work on these things. Give your time to these things. Give your efforts to them. They're the priority. Purity and reverence.
[37:03] That's why it is important. What women wear. Yes. And men as well. Are we showing purity? Or are we actually. Looking for wolf whistles.
[37:14] Looking for comments. Hoping. That we'll be noticed. That's not the way. Of God's people. And we don't need to be like that. We're freed from that.
[37:26] We're delivered from that. He speaks there about the beauty. Which comes from the inward appearance. What does he say? The unfading beauty. Of a gentle and quiet spirit.
[37:38] A gentle and quiet spirit. That shouts to me. And speaks to me of patience. Isn't that surely what we really need? Most of all in our marriages. Patience with one another.
[37:49] It's not just in our marriages. But in all our relationships. A gentle spirit. Learning to look out for the praiseworthy. It's something that we have to learn. In our marriages. And again.
[37:59] In all our relationships. Do we look for the praiseworthy in our spouse? Or do we look for things we can criticize? Do we look for things that we can pull apart about them. And put them down?
[38:11] That's surely part of what Peter is saying to the husbands. Be considerate. If your wife has had a very busy day. And she'll be doing all sorts of things. And your dinner's not on the table at exactly 5.30.
[38:23] Then don't jump up and down and have a fit about it. Be considerate. Be understanding. It's part of that spirit isn't it? Gentleness.
[38:34] Quiet spirit. Put yourself in the shoes of your partner. Your spouse. See things from their perspective. The way that they may see things.
[38:45] Again. These are things that are vital for all relationships. But particularly for a marriage. Again. This is exactly the opposite of what we see in the world. We're seeing again and again.
[38:55] That husbands and wives are told. You should have expectations. You should have rights. You should have your way. You should have this. If your husband doesn't take you to the theater every month.
[39:07] He's not keeping up his end of the bargain. If he's not buying you new shoes. Every time the season comes around. Then he's not being provider. No. These aren't the way. Remember that what Peter is saying here to the women.
[39:21] And again. I would say this is for the husbands. Is that we are first of all people who believe the word. We may be married to unbelievers. And be in relationship with unbelievers. If any of them do not believe the word.
[39:33] That's what makes a Christian different. We believe the word of God. Our attitudes are born of our faith in the word of God. Our attitudes are shaped by what we believe about the word of God.
[39:44] That it is true. That it is God's best for us. That it's what he wants for us in society. Not simply prejudices. Not simply traditions. Not simply the way that mother did it. Your father did it or whatever.
[39:57] And also we are those who live daily in hope. This is one of the things that Peter says about the women there. This is the way the holy women of the past. Who put their hope in God.
[40:08] Used to adorn themselves. Our hope is in the Lord. Our hope is in him. Daily. Trusting.
[40:19] Relying. For the future. Not being fearful. Not trying to keep all those things together. Which we hope will make our marriage last.
[40:32] Our hope is in God. That he who has brought us together will keep us together. Now we know sadly dear friends. As I said before. We are living in a sinful.
[40:43] A broken world. Divorce does happen. I'm not here to talk about divorce. Or teach on divorce. Or broken relationships. These things happen. And they are sorrowful and grievous.
[40:56] And it's so easy at times. For the devil to. Come and say. Well if only you'd been a better wife. If only you'd been a better husband. If only you'd done that. Or this. That isn't what the work God's word is here to do.
[41:09] It's not to condemn us. It's to help us. To teach us. The world has its role models. Doesn't it? It has those pinups.
[41:20] Those women who have the hourglass figure. Whatever it is. So. Now we understand that the majority of them are airbrushed. So we don't need to worry too much about whether we have that extra chocolate bar or not. But we also have role models.
[41:35] You ladies have role models. And men too. In the scriptures. The Bible is full of role models for us. Yes. People to avoid. As well. In the way that they behave towards their wives and husbands.
[41:47] But also those who did. Seek to. Honor God's word. Sarah is held up here. Now we know. If you know the story of Genesis. Sarah was far from a perfect wife.
[41:57] That's not what Peter is saying. Look at Sarah. She's perfect. He's not saying that. But look in this particular aspect of her life. There was a willingness to submit to Abraham.
[42:09] Even when he got it wrong. That's another whole subject as well. Isn't it? She got a lot of things wrong. But she got a lot of things right. And they managed to last married life into their centenary years.
[42:24] Pretty good going. One final thing dear friends. A motivation really. More than anything else. Why we should work at our marriages.
[42:35] Why we should pray for Christian marriages. Why we should support those who are married. And it's really the context of what Peter is saying here. To the wives particularly. When he says to them.
[42:47] In the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands. So that if any of them do not believe the word. They may be won over without words. By the behavior of their wives. And I believe that goes for husbands as well.
[43:00] Who have unconverted spouses. I believe it also goes for those of us. Who have unconverted children. Unconverted friends. Unconverted relations. Unconverted friends. Unconverted friends. Unconverted friends.
[43:11] Unconverted friends. Unconverted friends. Unconverted friends. When we work hard. At seeking to be Christ-like. When we work hard. At seeking to do God's word. And to live it out. When we seek hard. To be those men and women of God.
[43:23] In our marriages. Then God says here. That we may be the means. Of winning the lost for Christ. That's an incredible thing to say. Isn't it? That they may be won over.
[43:34] Without words. Doesn't mean you never speak to them. About the things of Christ. It doesn't mean that you nag them. About the things of Christ. Or bat them around the head. About the things of Christ.
[43:46] It doesn't mean also. That it's up to you. Dear non-Christian. To save your unconverted spouse. It's all dependent upon you. No. That's not what Peter is saying. Nor is he saying this.
[43:57] That if your spouse remains unconverted. You failed. And you can feel guilty about yourself. No. None of those things are true. As I say. Whether we are husbands or wives. Whether we're talking about.
[44:07] Our children. We're talking about our parents. We're talking about those. Who we care for very dearly. Our grandchildren. That isn't what Peter is saying. But what he is saying is this. That we have a privilege. And that God has called us.
[44:19] To be ambassadors for him. So that by our lives. We might in fact be those. Who are winsome. And through us. God is pleased to work.
[44:30] To draw men and women to himself. When Peter. Sorry. When Paul writes to Titus. In chapter 2. He talks to those. Christian slaves. Who have unconverted bosses.
[44:41] He says to them. Live such lives. So that in every way. They will. They will make the teaching. About God. Our Savior. Attractive. That's the attractiveness.
[44:52] That we should be working for. All of us dear friends. Do I make the gospel. The teaching about God. My Savior. Attractive. In my marriage.
[45:03] In my family. In my workplace. In my home. In my street. In my church. To those people. Who are unbelievers. Who do not believe the word. When they look at me.
[45:14] Not see a perfect man. Or a perfect woman. Or a perfect marriage. These things do not exist. There's something attractive. About the way that I live. The way that I treat my wife.
[45:27] The way that I respect my husband. The way that I work together with them. That people can say. There's something there. In that life. In that marriage. Which I don't have.
[45:38] And I know it's Christ. Christ. Well let's pray together. Shall we? We have to confess.
[45:49] Father. We all find this tough. In so many ways. We may find it tough. Because Lord. When we're reminded of marriage. We miss the loved ones. That you gave us. Who are now.
[46:01] With you. We miss Lord. Those. We miss the companionship. And the care that we enjoyed. And for many reasons. Is no longer with us.
[46:12] We find it tough Lord. Because those of us. Who are not married. And single. And hope to be. Lord. Are daunted by the prospect. Of what may be ahead. And how we shall live.
[46:23] For you. In this sinful. And broken world. We find it tough Lord. Because. We are married. And Lord. We know that our marriage. Has its problems. And difficulties.
[46:35] And Lord. Only by your grace. We've survived so long. And we know the enemy. Is much at work. To destroy. Christian marriages. And to. Make a mockery of them. We know.
[46:45] Dear folk. Who are special to us. Who. Even at this time. Are going through. Marriage breakup. And so Lord. We do come to you. And we confess. Oh Lord. Our great need of you.
[46:57] We want to be. Christ like. People in this world. We want to be those. In every aspect. And sphere of our lives. That obey your word. Show the reality. And the purpose.
[47:09] Of God. We want to be those. Who truly do make the gospel. Of our Lord Jesus. Attractive. That our words. Our actions. Our attitudes.
[47:20] Lord may not be blunt. Harsh. Spiky. But rather those. Oh Lord. Which. Point to one. Who is. The most glorious.
[47:33] Bridegroom. Help us then Lord. Apply your word to us. Even as we've heard it. Give us the grace. To live it out. In the days to come. We ask it in Jesus name.
[47:44] Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.
[47:58] Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.